Change In Plans

Greetings from New York, New York, the city so great they had to name it twice.

We left Russell, New Zealand about 30 hours ago. On our last morning, we had a family walk on Long Beach, then Zola and I went for a swim in the Pacific. We drove back to the house, packed up, and 30 minutes later we were on the road to Auckland.

Everyone slept on the Auckland to LA flight. It was a little bumpy, but India was admirably brave (pretty much). In LA, we said another goodbye to our friend Ginny -who had flown from Auckland with us. She was off to Dallas and then Raleigh/Durham. We barely had enough time in the layover to buy a newspaper and snacks for the kids, and we were off to New York.

Both LAX and JFK are better than they used to be, but still pretty ratty relative to almost every major airport we have seen (except for Kathmandu). Not sure how the richest country in the world has fallen so far behind.

Bad planning and time constraints when we departed in October meant that we left my car in long-term parking at JFK (instead of selling it, garaging it, etc.). At least we weren’t so jammed that we left it in short-term.

Over the last few weeks, India and I have channeled some of our anxieties into “what if” concerns about the car. What if it has been towed? Or stolen? Or crashed into? What if we simply can’t find it?

What if the car doesn’t start? Stupidly, I did not disconnect the battery. What if the police have to jump start it, and the registration or inspection is expired, and I get arrested? What if the parking fee is more than the daily limit our credit cards will approve, and we have to come back three days in a row? Plenty of worst-case scenarios.

In the end, we found the car easily, and it did not start. Parking-lot security called for assistance, a guy with very long jumper cables showed up a few minutes later, and a few minutes after that, we were on our way. A lot of wasted anxiety.

The parking fee was steep -the two ladies in the booth laughed and high-fived each other- but in line with expectations. We gritted our teeth, thought about the frequent flyer miles, and were relieved when the transaction was approved.

On the drive in from the airport, Zola kept looking around and saying, “This isn’t the New York I remember.” We kept explaining that we were in Queens. When we came through the Mid-Town Tunnel, he said, “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.”

Lower Manhattan on a Friday night seems little changed in the last year. Crowds of people in the streets, a very festive atmosphere. I wasn’t expecting a scene out of “The Grapes of Wrath,” but on the surface it is hard to tell that the economy is in the tank, and that the financial world lies in ruins. Maybe we will see it tomorrow.

I hope everyone can sleep. It is good to be home.

Greetings from Gramercy Park, New York!

Our reentry to the U.S., and the ragged end of our traveling ways, has been fun. It has also been much rockier and more thought provoking than we had expected.

At least for the weekend, it felt a lot like an extension of the world-round trip. We are living in a nice hotel (hey, that feels familiar), and we are running around in a big city.

It happens to be our ‘home’ city, and the running around has mostly been reconnecting with friends: a sleepover for Zola, a genteel roof-top cocktail party in Harlem followed by a raucous dinner party on the Upper West Side.

On Sunday, we also dashed up to our house in the Catskills to do laundry, shed baggage, and assess the damage from the winter. Both kids were so happy to be truly in a place of their own that it was hard for us to leave again.

Still, if I squinted, until Monday morning it felt like the world-round trip.

This morning, though, I had my first day back at work. It was pleasant and felt natural to go back to the New York offices of the Firm where I worked for ten years. I saw dozens of people I knew, and felt very much at home. The work will be challenging and interesting.

Broken Arrow psp

Still, it was strange to not be with India and the kids. They had a full day together, running around in the cold New York rain. We met for dinner early at the apartment of old and dear friends, so I was not separated from them for all that long.

Even if I squint, though, it doesn’t feel like a world-round trip anymore.

Because we have re-entered a world we know in the middle of the school year, in the middle of the month, all around us we see stability and routine. Our own instability and rootlessness feels highlighted by contrast. I am definitely feeling uncomfortable with this much ambiguity and. turbulence.

This is one of the consequences of adventure, I think. We will settle down some, rent a place for me to live, and create some greater sense of stability. India and the kids will go to Nashville for a while, and I will join them as much as I can.

We knew that the reentry would be ragged. We need to hold each other closely and get through it.

This post is about the mood of our family, and the mood of those around us, as we get ready to leave for the longest leg of our trip.

On Saturday it rained buckets up in the Catskills. Trapped inside our tiny cabin,filled chaotically with all of our half-packed bags, tempers were short.

As usual, I was probably the grouchiest and the most unsettled. That said, India and Zola were also greatly on edge, and we all got in each other’s way and on each other’s nerves. Tallulah, bless her heart, was as joyful and even-keeled as I was sour and ratty.

In the week before we departed in August, India developed chest pains which made her very concerned. Literally, on the day we flew to Spain the chest pains resolved and were no longer a problem. On Saturday the chest pains came back. There is no doubt that these are real (India is a physically very tough person), but I think we agree that they are stress related.

When it became apparent to Zola that he would not have a sleepover with his friend Matthew, he became very upset and angry. He said things like: “Why can’t I just have a normal childhood?” and “Why are you taking me away from my friends for so long?” Ouch.

When we were down at the general store near our house, Zola was upset, and played a joke on Tallulah and me by hiding her dolls’ stroller next to the truck. I don’t think he meant anything bad to happen, but when I pulled out I ran over the stroller and mangled it beyond recpgnition. More drama, although Lu, again, was very forgiving and light-hearted.

Traveling as a family, we are definitely recofnizing the pattern that transitions are associated with stress and short tempers. In the Mediterranean leg of the trip, we started to anticipate and recognize “travel day” stress. Just by acknowledging and expecting it, we dealt with those days much better. At least we could put a label on Dad’s bad moods. Gearing up for a big transition, we are all feeling some transient self doubt, anticipation of what we will see and do, and the stress of rhythmless living.

The ongoing collapse of the financial markets is creating stress from a completely different source. Many of our friends and family are uncharacteristically anxious. At dinner on Saturday night, and again last night at a small farewell gathering in the city, much of the talk was of recession vs.depression, and falling house prices, and layoffs, and general insecurity. It was wonderful to see our friends on both occasions (thank you), and, of course, not everything was doom and gloom. There is just more anxiety and uncertainty than I have ever seen. My brother-in-law,the compassionate stockbroker, went to the emergency room in Nashville last night with an uncontrollably racing heart. The doctors said it was likely triggered by fatigue (he’s not sleeping) and a reaction to a swing in blood sugar, but this all seems to link back to market anxiety. He is fine now, by the way. Looking at Asian and European stocks on my Blackberry, it looks as though today may be another tough one.

It is quite different from the months immediately after September 11th, but there is a similar collective feeling of being in the middle of a bad moment in history, and not knowing when and how it will get better.

I feel aware of the macro-anxiety, but also strangely outside of it. We won’t get (and don’t expect) any sympathy for our family pre-trip jitters. I think we will have a tremendous experience, and we all now just want to get on with it.

Both kids seemed happy after multiple play dates in the city yesterday. This morning, though, even Tallulah, our little emotional stalwart,cried inconsolably for 20 minutes after India left our hotel to meet a friend for a run.

As a family we are ready to go, and to replace these feelings with action. Ironically, this may be something that an 18-hour flight will cure. Unfortunately we can’t do something similar about the markets.

Onward to (the suddenly much more expensive) Japan!

This short post is about our trip back to the Catskills, where we are gearing up for the next leg of our trip.

We had a farewell dinner with India’s family last night in Nashville. They are all very loving and supportive, but I think they are saddened that we will be away for Christmas, and generally a little confused by our trip. My guess is that they have been pretty confused in the past as well, for example, when we:

• moved (unmarried) to South Africa the first time in 1991, and lived in sin
• both changed our last names when we got married in New York
• drove from Cape Town to Nairobi in 1995
• moved back to South Africa from New York in 1996
• gave birth to our first child in Cape Town, rather than in Nashville
• chose to live in New York (then New Jersey) when we finally did move back to the U.S.

They seem to shower us with love and hope for the best.

This morning we left for the airport in a driving rainstorm at 5:15 (too many early morning flights). We checked in our absurd amount of luggage, boarded the plane, and were airborne by 6:45am. We landed in clear and sunny Newark, and drove up to our Catskills house.

By the time we arrived in the Beaverkill Valley, the skies had clouded over, and the temperature was in the high 40’s. In the two weeks we have been away, all of the leaves have fallen, it has snowed (and melted), and everyone has shifted into winter mode.

Zola, Tallulah, and I went for a bicycle ride before sunset, maybe the last one of the year. We saw a family of bald eagles near the fish hatchery, which made us feel very patriotic. Zola complained about the cold, and Tallulah shouted “Cowboy up, cupcake!” at the top of her lungs several times. Because she was in the seat on the back of my bike, when her hands got cold a few minutes later, she just slipped them under my sweater without Zola noticing and retorting.

We have a lot of packing and organizing to do in the next two days, before we head down to New York City and then off to Japan (and India and Nepal and the Maldives and …)

Unfortunately, it seems unlikely that Zola will see his friend Matthew before we go, which will be a little traumatic. When we landed from Italy, Zola and Matthew talked on the phone. Zola launched into a Pokemon monologue (or “Pokemonologue”), which was interrrupted by Matthew saying something like: “I am not so much into Pokemon anymore. I am much more into Avatar now.” When they hung up, Zola said that “a little fire went out inside of him” when Matthew told him he wasn’t into Pokemon anymore.

This may be somewhat of a metaphor for all of our external relationships in this year of travel. Fires may not go out, but they may dim and need rekindling when we get back.

On the other hand, Zola did tell my mother-in-law that his favorite part of the trip was spending so much time with his Dad, so there are benefits as well, I guess.