Change In Plans

Greetings from Nashville!

Within a day, both kids both mentioned that everything in the U.S. is big: the cars, the roads, the plates of food, and the people. Big, big, big. Aside from that, they are purely happy to be in the warm embrace of grandparents and cousins and familiarity. Six months in South Africa, and the heartland feels foreign, but they like it.

For India and me, being here stimulates a more complicated set of emotions. We are happy to be with India’s family, and happy to see our kids so happy. That’s straightforward. We both feel a little guilty for living so far away, and for not participating actively in our families’ lives. We haven’t made it up to see my Mom (who just had her hip replaced) and step-father, but I feel sad to not be be closer to them. And I feel sad that the kids aren’t closer to any of their extended family.

On a personal/professional front, being here makes me keenly aware of how much time has passed since we had a stable and forward-moving existence.

For two years we have had a vagabond existence: moving, experiencing, repositioning, growing. It’s been fun, but many months ago, I reached the limit on my capacity for uncertainty and change. I have wanted nothing more than to be stable, working full time, making progress toward longer-term objectives. Cleaning out boxes of work papers and financial records in my in-laws’ garage brought this need to work to an emotional boil. The rest of the world has long since moved on, and I need to climb back on to it. Soon enough, I hope.

For India, being here reminds her of who she grew up wanting to be. She wanted to explore the world, live in the outdoors, know interesting people. She is happy that she has shaped her adult life in line with those dreams, but even she is feeling a need to stabilize and get embedded in longer-term relationships and objectives.

This all reads a little more angsty than I actually feel. We are happy to be here, and we treasure our family and friends. The next few weeks, in New York and at my Mom’s, will be fun and will refresh a lot of important relationships in our lives.

There are opportunity costs in all choices: if we live there we can’t also be living here, if I stop working and spend time with my family, have to accept that I have lost momentum, stature, etc. Generally I am good at ignoring opportunity costs, but being here confronts us with them directly.

When we go back to South Africa in mid-July, though, I think we will be good and ready to really start living there.

Greetings from Nashville, and happy Mother’s Day!

We have had a fun, normal weekend as a family, together in Nashville. India and the kids had already been here for 10 days without me, before I arrived on Friday morning.

Friday was packed with activity.

As I walked up the concourse in the Nashville airport (while postponing a call scheduled to begin the moment I landed), I was very happy to see little Tallulah sprinting down toward me. Her blond hair was flying as she ran, and she leaped into my arms.

Zola followed a moment later, and nearly knocked me over. He has bulked up to 89 pounds during his time in Nashville, eating lots of cake and fried food.

India was slightly more restrained in greeting me, but we were all very happy to be embracing there in the corridor. Our team reunited.

We spent a couple of hours with our friend, Kim, who continues to recover from a kidney-pancreas transplant. She has been going through intensive daily treatment with a gamma-globulin derivative and corticosteroids. It appear to be working: her fevers have broken, and her pancreas is producing insulin again. She looks great, and seems to feel OK (ish).

It’s hard to imagine the medical odyssey that Kim has been on, while we have been on our geographic odyssey out in the world. It’s also hard to imagine that Zola, our baby boy, probably outweighs Kim by a little.

After lunch, we raced across Nashville, dropped the kids with Gramae and Pop, and went up to our local Department of Motor Vehicles. Somehow India and I had both let our driver’s licenses expire while we were traveling. This creates lots of problems.

Fortunately, it only took about 45 minutes to get new licenses on a Friday afternoon. As they say on the south island of New Zealand: “Bob’s your uncle.”

The next 36 hours was a blur of ice skating, Benihana-like Japanese dinner (the kids loved it), a torrential thunderstorm with hail, a long run, a kids’ scavenger hunt, a big roadside fun fair, a barbeque, another long run, church, a Mother’s Day picnic in a flooded park, and skateboard lessons for Zola.

I also spent several hours at the Verizon Wireless store, swapping out another dead BlackBerry. No tearful eulogy for that “hardly knew ye” one.

We have had fun, but mostly it has just been very normal and natural to be with India and with the kids.

Tonight, Zola cried for a while before he fell asleep. This is the first time he has cried in my presence in many months. He is sad because India and I are leaving early in the morning. She is coming up to New York for four days, as we try to make plans. He is bone tired too.

More broadly, though, I think Zola is feeling rootless, and slightly aimless, and definitely unstable. This seems reasonable, given our situation.

It made India and me sad to see him so upset. To a certain extent, we are accounting for the ragged reentry as part of the (psychic) cost of our adventure. It puts the onus on us to create a stable situation as soon as we can, which involves all four of us living together.

Being in Nashville, our home town now, after our travels, I was struck by the simplicity of two big questions that seem to get a lot of press coverage and punditry.

1- Why is GM losing so much share that it will file for bankrutcy? Because GM cars are almost all terrible: ugly, unreliable, and jammed with unwanted and annoying features. The pickups and SUVs are better, but the cars are just terrible.

2- Why are American health outcomes so terrible when we spend so much money on healthcare. The high cost comes from poorly aligned incentives: basically no one makes money keeping Americans healthy. The poor health comes from eating bad food, smoking, and not exercising.

It is good to be back with my family, and to have a shred of normalcy for a short while. Tomorrow morning we start with the abnormal again. /p>

This short post is about my day volunteering for the Obama campaign in Nashville.

We took Tallulah home at 4pm yesterday, after about 5 hours in the surgi-center and more than two hours of actual oral surgery. She was fine, and good spirited, if a little puffy-cheeked, throughout the entire ordeal. Kids are amazing.

After we arrived home, late yesterday afternoon, I called the Obama campaign headquarters in Nashville, and asked what I needed to do in order to volunteer. The answer was simple: show up, and we will put you to work. They didn’t even take my name.

This morning, I hitched a ride into the center of Nashville (Rosa Parks Boulevard) with my father-in-law, L.C. I was a little early for the campaign world, I guess, arriving at about 8:45. The cavernous Nashville HQ was pretty much empty. Not an auspicious start.

Before 9am, however, a team of volunteer co-ordinators had arrived, registered me, and gotten me working the phones. There were no land lines, only a huge table full of cell phones on chargers. Today’s big get-out-the-vote task in the phone bank was to contact elderly Democratic voters (80-95 years old!), encourage them to vote, and find out whether they wanted an absentee ballot. This was (at least) the second pass through these phone lists, because my pages were already heavily annotated, and I was instructed to just call the ones coded “No Answer” and “Busy”.

Calling the old people was more fun than I would have imagined: “Since you are recovering from the triple-bypass surgery, Ma’am, can we help you get an absentee ballot and vote from the comfort of your home?” At about 11am, though, I was flattered to be selected for door-to-door canvassing.

With a very smooth young African-American guy as my partner (he on the left side of the street, I on the right), we knocked on doors in a Nashville neighborhood called The Bordeaux. It had been described to me as “demographically friendly.” This turned out to mean “mostly African American.” The purpose of the canvassing was to get voters to go to the polls early - today if possible.

About two minutes after I started, a young guy yelled out the window of his car as he drove by: “This is the ‘hood, bro. Don’t get shot!” That was a little dramatic for what was an entirely pleasant experience. Of the 50 doors I knocked on, maybe 20 had people at home. 19 were planning to vote (or had already voted) for Obama/Biden. One woman told me she was undecided, but would enter the voting booth on election day, and would pray “until Jesus tells me who to choose.” Hmmmm. My big accomplishment was calling in an “immediate ride” request, and having a nice elderly woman taken for early voting within 15 minutes. Impact!

When I returned to the HQ, I was served lunch, got back on the phone (now alongside dozens of other volunteers), and started calling the elderly voters once again. Throughout the day, the place got more crowded and more lively.

Overall, this was a fun and worthwhile day. It is too limited an experience (in time and in geographic scope) to draw any conclusions about the race, about the campaign, or about much of anything. That said, I was surprised by a couple of things that I observed:

1- The campaign seemed extremely well organized. As new volunteers wandered in (or returned), they were made immediately productive. Detailed plans for the day, and for the next 12 days were printed and hanging on the walls. There was enormous capacity in phones and computers and literature and paraphernalia. There was good guidance and oversight, and clear task orientation, all in a completely fluid environment. Very impressive.

2- Even though Obama/Biden is trailing by 8 points in Tennessee, the turnout and energy of volunteers was amazing. It seems unlikely that a concerted get-out-the-vote effort amongst the 80-95 year-old demographic, or really anything else that a group of volunteers can do at this point, will close the 8-point gap. That said, the commitment and seriousness and passion of the volunteer effort is truly inspiring. This is the democratic process at its finest.

India and I view this period of me not working -this “year off”- as a precious gift. I had some fleeting remorse today that we are expending this gift time on our trip, rather than on a political campaign or on non-profit work. The trip still seems like the best thing for us as a family, and probably also the most fun. That said, I became more aware of the opportunity cost with my one-day visit to Campaignland.

This short post is about taking the kids to see a pediatric dentist in Nashville.

As we get ready to embark on the third, and longest, leg of our family trip, India had the good sense to schedule dental appointments for Zola and Tallulah. We found ourselves at an incredibly busy and well managed practice about three miles from India’s parents’ house.

The practice has about six administrators and at least ten hygienists/assistants, supporting three calm but busy doctors. The practice is designed to be entertaining and fun for kids. The waiting room has old-school arcade video games (with volumes turned way down), and a climbing/tunnel area. The treatment area itself has sports pictures and gear hanging up everywhere, and lots of windows. Above each treatment chair there is a TV screen built into the ceiling, tuned to the Disney Channel. Every kid gets a swag bag when they finish: toothbrushes and toothpaste and a mug and comics and games and stuff. Any kid who has more than an exam and tooth cleaning goes to claim a toy from a stack of prizes. Once a year, the practice hosts a free all-day picnic for its patients at a local amusement park. Every kid we saw seemed genuinely happy to be at the dentist’s office. Amazing. Maybe all suburban dentist offices are like this, and I am just easily impressed.

Unfortunately for us, Zola had to have a rotten baby tooth “wiggled out,” which wasn’t pleasant. They gave him laughing gas (although he didn’t seem affected by it very much), and pulled it. We agreed with Dr. Taylor that this was better than waiting for it to fall out on its own, and risking an abcess while we are in India or Nepal or somewhere. Zola is now nursing a wad of bloody gauze, and wondering if the tooth fairy will bring him Pokemon cards.

More unfortunately, little Tallulah needs some extensive work done on her baby molars. She was not blessed with thick enamel on her baby teeth: let’s hope the adult teeth are better. Apparently the best approach is to do this under general anesthesia in a surgical center.

We discussed several options with Dr. Taylor, who I think was both intrigued and slightly horrified by us. One option was to wait until we are in South Africa or Australia, and to find a good dentist there. Another option was to try and have the surgery done in Nashville before we leave for Japan (or delay our departure until we can have it done). “Do nothing” is apparently not an option.

In the end, Dr. Taylor cancelled his Wednesday-morning golf game (really), and will do the procedure tomorrow. Watching your child go under general anesthesia is an awful thing for a parent to experience, but this is the least painful, least stressful, and fastest way to solve the problem. Fewer sweets and more brushing are in both kids’ futures.

Capping off an afternoon of relatively unpleasant surprises, the “COBRA” dental insurance that we arranged when I left my job has somehow not gone into effect. We were fortunate to be able to pay cash and sort it out later, but I can at least imagine the stress of the financial tradeoffs for uninsured parents. Scary stuff. Having good health insurance is a great job benefit.

So, we will have more drama in our Nashville visit than we were hoping, but it will be good to have the kids’ dentistry sorted out.

Our original flight back to Winnipeg was cancelled, then just delayed by several hours, so we managed to Fletch our way onto a charter flight that was leaving on time. With minimal drama (relatively speaking - we were still on an ancient turboprop, taking off in lousy weather) we departed from Churchill and flew down south.

After four days in Churchill, Winnipeg seemed balmy and cosmopolitan. We actually sat and soaked up the afternoon sun for 20 minutes after we arrived.

Later that evening, because we were five passengers, and the taxi driver refused to bend the “four passenger rule” for us, we had to figure out another way to get from our hotel to a restaurant. Creating what will probably be Zola’s and Charlsi’s most abiding memory of the whole polar bear trip, we took a white stretch limousine to the restaurant (less expensive than two cabs). It was funny to me that the limo created more giddy, gee-whiz excitement in the two kids than the Tundra Buggy, or the second polar-bear sighting, or the turboprop plane. I’ve given up trying to predict what will get Zola excited. He was happy, we were happy.

Rae & Jerry’s, where we went for dinner, is a perfectly preserved, circa 1957 , retro fine dining steak house. It is a Winnipeg institution: red velvet, bucket seats in the cocktail lounge, dark wood paneling. We had a good dinner, celebrated our ploar bear adventure, called Amit the limo driver to take us back to the hotel, and got everyone to bed.

We were out of the hotel by about 6:15 this morning, through check-in and U.S. customs and passport control on the Winnipeg side by 7:30, and airborne at 8:30. We changed planes again in Minneapolis-St. Paul, and were back in Nashville just before noon. Aside from the woman in the seat in front of Zola complaining repeatedly to the flight attendant that he was kicking her (we eventually switched his seat), the flights were uneventful.

The polar bear trip was cool. We have a lot to think about and talk about over the next few days as we process the experience. Churchill is not quite ready for prime time as a tourist destination, but we had a great time, and we sure saw a lot of polar bears.