Change In Plans

This short post relates some of the funny things that have happened while we have been travelling. As noted before, I don’t know how funny they will be in the retelling (particularly in my retelling), but they made us laugh at the time.

1- We have been following the U.S. Presidential campaign reasonably closely, but only through the internet. We did see a replay of the Vice Presidential debate, with Turkish sub-titles, on the boat on our last night in Turkey. India also managed to play the Tina Fey Saturday Night Live impressions of Sarah Palin on YouTube for us (although not in Turkey, where access to YouTube has been blocked by the government).

Somehow, in all of this, the expression “I can see Russia from my house!” has crept into the family dialogue. For example: “Zola, why haven’t you done your schoolwork yet?” “Because I can see Russia from my house.” It is particularly funny when the three-year old says it.

One of our favorite Zola moments was when we were staying at the Ciragan Palace in Istanbul, looking out over the Bosphorus Straits. He woke up one morning and told us, apropos of nothing, “Sarah Palin says she can see Russia from her house. So what?. I can see Asia from my bed!”

2- Our dinner at Donna Rosa restaurant in Monteprusto, Italy was nearly perfect. The restaurant is run by a family, with Donna Rosa and her daughter in the open kitchen, the father and another daughter waiting tables. Three funny things happened during our dinner.

First, we struck up a conversation with a lovely couple on their honeymoon. The new wife, in her mid-thirties, was very interested in our children, and she and India really hit it off. 30 minutes after they left, the waitress answered a phone call, and then summoned India to the phone. We assumed the worst: parents sick, hotel burned down, who knows? The new bride actually had called the restaurant from her hotel, gave India her address and phone number, and invited us to stay with them in London.

Second, there was a large and vivacious American tour guide sitting with a small group of his high-end clients at the table next to us. It was clear that the guide brings all of his groups to Donna Rosa, and that he has a very friendly relationship with the family. Donna Rosa sent our table a small starter, and the tour guide made a humorous show of wanting the starters for himself. After Zola went to the kitchen and talked to Donna Rosa and her daughter, they sent us a small plate of meatballs, and the tour guide made a humorous show of trying to intercept the waitress and get the meatballs. The kids scarfed down the small plate, so she sent a big plate (this was all before we ordered), and the tour guide made a bigger show of chasing the waitress with his fork, asking for meatballs. Tallulah leaned over to me, and said in a triumphant voice: “That big fatman wants our food, but we are NOT giving it to him.”

Third, after his trip to the kitchen, Zola was emboldened to order a ravioli appetizer, even though it had spinach in it (breaking new culinary ground for a very picky eater). He told the waitress: “I would like to order he ravioli, but only half an order of ravioli. That way, if I like it, I can get you to bring me the other half of the order later on.”

3- We have never spanked either of our kids, but when we were in Positano, Zola found a box of matches and lit one by himself in the bedroom, while we were all in the sitting room. This required a reaction which was different in kind from anything he had seen before, and would be memorable, so I put him over my knee and actually spanked him (not very hard) for the first, and I hope only, time in his life.

This was not funny, and was sort of traumatic for all of us. Zola crying, Tallulah crying, India and me upset.

The next evening, Tallulah and I were cozy in bed, reading a story. She interrupted me and said in a soft voice:

“Dad? Remember when you spanked Zola?”

“Of course, sweetheart, it was yesterday.”

“Dad, when you spanked him it was … very … it was so … it was …”

“I know, Lu, it was very scary and awful for all of us. I just wanted him and you to know that…”

“No Dad. What I mean is that when you spanked him it was … so … it was so … nice!”